"And by God—who cares that we can’t afford a car when I get to live with a person who says things like that? Of course, I don’t want $200k to write things I doubt the value of."
This was a very honest letter. I read it with a tinge of envy of your courage. It takes clarity to be this courageous and it's wonderful that you have clearly prioritized what being rich means to you. I wish you happiness and even more clarity down the path you've chosen.
P.s: I wonder if you'd taken that offer, if you'd get a comment from someone in Nigeria.
I've been meaning to do a video call with readers from Nigeria at some point—there are about 150 of you by now, which makes me so curious. And yes, you don't get an opportunity to do that on the default path.
We just traded in our car, and I tried to convince my wife to see if we could get by with bikes. And skis, since we live in Alaska. She said no, but at least we got a smaller car with cheaper insurance. I hate how much time I spend thinking about cars.
Thank you for sharing your journey with such honesty and depth. Your story is a powerful reminder of the value of prioritizing what truly matters in life, even when faced with significant trade-offs. Your commitment to writing, personal growth, and staying true to your values is inspiring. It's refreshing to see someone so dedicated to their passions and family. Wishing you continued success and fulfillment with Escaping Flatland and beyond.
Book for you -- in case you haven't already heard about it, but maybe that's just me. :) -- because you like such things. George Polya : On Understanding, Learning and Teaching Problem Solving
Originally a two volume set, released as one volume by Wiley.
This is quite profound Henrik! Reading this has helped me quite understand the importance of optimizing our trade-offs. Choosing not what would be appealing now, but what I would like to achieve in terms of my soul and the long-term aspect of it all. Thank you for reaching me as I try and navigate my path.
This one bounced around in my head all morning, as your pieces so often do. A couple reflections: I wonder to what extent the culture you live in enables you to prioritize the way you have? I don't just mean the culture of your family/partnership, which you've made clear, but the larger culture of your town and your country?
Sara and I made similar decisions when our kids were very young: we "shared" a job running a small book-packaging company so that one of us could always be with the kids, and that time with them was, to use a stereotyped but utterly true word, priceless. Later, years later, when the kids were in their teens, we could see that it was going to take money, lots more money, to send them to college, and we made different decisions: we traded our time for money. In our culture, in the United States, where college is so expensive, that decision made a kind of sense, but it wasn't terribly good for our souls.
But these decisions don't last forever: once the kids were finished college, we decided on our souls again: we opted for time over money and now live on far less. I think about how these decisions are either valued or devalued by the cultures we live in.
Once again, my friend, your 'Stack provides the most marvelous food for thought.
tom, that’s an inspiring journey! it's interesting how our choices shift with life’s phases. your story shows that while cultural norms influence us, personal values can steer our decisions. sharing a job to be with the kids sounds like a wonderful way to prioritize family.
it’s also a reminder that sometimes, we have to balance between financial needs and what nurtures our souls. thanks for sharing.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” feels like quote I keep seeing echoed recently, and this is yet another reminder of it! Lovely short little piece :)
That's the mission, to find what matters and embrace it.
Thank you for writing this, just started to be more myself and less the expectations I created about me and what the world thinks about how I should be, do and act.
Thank you so much for writing this - it‘s a reminder that I need to hear every once in a while and that gives me peace of mind. Sometimes the urge of doing what other people expect me to do (or what I think they expect me to do) is strong.
Thank you for putting this into words. As a writer still peddling to the low hundreds, the old Tech salary continues to whisper in the background. But earlier this year I realised I would happily earn one third, one quarter, of what I used to earn, if I meant I could read and write all day and build a life around those things. Leaning into such a decision does sometimes feel like as radical a thing as you can do these days.
Dear Henrik,
So wonderfully expressed. Bravo.
And this line:
"And by God—who cares that we can’t afford a car when I get to live with a person who says things like that? Of course, I don’t want $200k to write things I doubt the value of."
What a gem.
With admiration,
true gem indeed, rodrigo.
This made me cry. I want to find the spheres, write more and bike more
This was a very honest letter. I read it with a tinge of envy of your courage. It takes clarity to be this courageous and it's wonderful that you have clearly prioritized what being rich means to you. I wish you happiness and even more clarity down the path you've chosen.
P.s: I wonder if you'd taken that offer, if you'd get a comment from someone in Nigeria.
I've been meaning to do a video call with readers from Nigeria at some point—there are about 150 of you by now, which makes me so curious. And yes, you don't get an opportunity to do that on the default path.
I wish you clarity and courage, too.
Let me know when you eventually find time to do one. I have questions!
I'll post it on the top of one of the emails. I hope I find the time soon—but I've said that for several months now. So we'll see!
While it may not be the easiest path to take. But the rewards are so often hidden. Inspired by your bravery!
We just traded in our car, and I tried to convince my wife to see if we could get by with bikes. And skis, since we live in Alaska. She said no, but at least we got a smaller car with cheaper insurance. I hate how much time I spend thinking about cars.
keeping me honest! 🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing your journey with such honesty and depth. Your story is a powerful reminder of the value of prioritizing what truly matters in life, even when faced with significant trade-offs. Your commitment to writing, personal growth, and staying true to your values is inspiring. It's refreshing to see someone so dedicated to their passions and family. Wishing you continued success and fulfillment with Escaping Flatland and beyond.
Book for you -- in case you haven't already heard about it, but maybe that's just me. :) -- because you like such things. George Polya : On Understanding, Learning and Teaching Problem Solving
Originally a two volume set, released as one volume by Wiley.
Online (free) copy here:
https://www.isinj.com/mt-usamo/Mathematical%20Discovery%20Polya%20(1981,%20Wiley).pdf
cool, I've only read "how to solve it" by polya!
And this one is new to me. Great! Thank you.
This is quite profound Henrik! Reading this has helped me quite understand the importance of optimizing our trade-offs. Choosing not what would be appealing now, but what I would like to achieve in terms of my soul and the long-term aspect of it all. Thank you for reaching me as I try and navigate my path.
This one bounced around in my head all morning, as your pieces so often do. A couple reflections: I wonder to what extent the culture you live in enables you to prioritize the way you have? I don't just mean the culture of your family/partnership, which you've made clear, but the larger culture of your town and your country?
Sara and I made similar decisions when our kids were very young: we "shared" a job running a small book-packaging company so that one of us could always be with the kids, and that time with them was, to use a stereotyped but utterly true word, priceless. Later, years later, when the kids were in their teens, we could see that it was going to take money, lots more money, to send them to college, and we made different decisions: we traded our time for money. In our culture, in the United States, where college is so expensive, that decision made a kind of sense, but it wasn't terribly good for our souls.
But these decisions don't last forever: once the kids were finished college, we decided on our souls again: we opted for time over money and now live on far less. I think about how these decisions are either valued or devalued by the cultures we live in.
Once again, my friend, your 'Stack provides the most marvelous food for thought.
tom, that’s an inspiring journey! it's interesting how our choices shift with life’s phases. your story shows that while cultural norms influence us, personal values can steer our decisions. sharing a job to be with the kids sounds like a wonderful way to prioritize family.
it’s also a reminder that sometimes, we have to balance between financial needs and what nurtures our souls. thanks for sharing.
Have to admit I would have taken the $200K 🙃
haha that is not a stupid move
As long as you keep alive the part of you that would not have taken the $200k, you would have been alright ...
Haha, that part of me is always Alive 🧟♂️
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” feels like quote I keep seeing echoed recently, and this is yet another reminder of it! Lovely short little piece :)
That's the mission, to find what matters and embrace it.
Thank you for writing this, just started to be more myself and less the expectations I created about me and what the world thinks about how I should be, do and act.
thank you
Thank you so much for writing this - it‘s a reminder that I need to hear every once in a while and that gives me peace of mind. Sometimes the urge of doing what other people expect me to do (or what I think they expect me to do) is strong.
It’s good to be reminded that the choice is mine.
Thank you for putting this into words. As a writer still peddling to the low hundreds, the old Tech salary continues to whisper in the background. But earlier this year I realised I would happily earn one third, one quarter, of what I used to earn, if I meant I could read and write all day and build a life around those things. Leaning into such a decision does sometimes feel like as radical a thing as you can do these days.